Instead of Laughing I Cry

Change

Real change

Earth shattering

Heart wrenching

Change

There's nothing I hate more

Involuntary change

Change where my true love

Very best friend 

Drops me

Exchanges me

For someone I know they deserve 

And the pain

Oh the sweet hot pain

That comes when asked where is so and so

Because for the first time in forever

I showed up

Completely 

Alone

The change in my mood

From yes

Yes

Yes 

To no

No

No

Instead of laughing

I cry

Instead of drawing

I cry

Instead if writing

I read

Instead of reading

I write

All because if change

Stupid

Selfish

Unfeeling

Bone rattling 

Change

A change

Not only in life

But in my very being

Because without you

Beside me

I'm half lost

Because instead if laughing

I cry