Mind Games

I gave you my heart once.  I trusted you more than anyone. I loved you more than I thought was humanly possible.
But it was just a game to you. 
The betrayal so hot it melted my heart into my mind. 
You never loved me. I doubt sometimes whether you were even my friend.

My life took on a new pattern. A new way of thinking. Your voice wormed it's way into my mind. Making me second guess myself and the motives of those around me. 

Someone's smile
   They think you're a joke
I look down

Someone says hello
   They want something from me
I walk the other way

Someone talks to me
    Why bother?
I study the floor and nod

I have a friend
    Really? They're not your friend. Who in their right would want               
    to be friends with YOU?
I stop answering the phone when they call

Trust me. Someone says
    Why? They're just gonna betray you. 
I walk away.  

Come hang out with us!
    They just want to embarrass you. Hurt you. 
I'm busy. Sorry. Then I sit in my room. Alone. 

Pass a mirror
     Your pointless
     Your cruel
     Your not good enough
     Your stupid
     You'll never be good enough
     Your beneath them. 
Your right. 

Then. One day. Someone handed me a book. 

And your voice was replaced. The words in my head changed. Now when someone smiled I'd try to smile back. Slowly I began to trust, hope, again. I hung out with kids my age. I began to feel. I began to love. 

But one day your voice returned. Doubt crept into my mind and filled my weak mind with the thoughts of old. 

They're just using you. Because you're weak. Easy to manipulate.

So I ran

And THEY ran after ME. Calling out MY name. Asking ME where I was going. Why was I leaving. And could I stay?  I turned and your voice screamed

NO!!!

But the smile on their friendly face cut you short. That mind game of yours was over and I had won. I was free. 

Love had set me free, and keeps me so. Please don't take my love away. I gave you my heart. Please don't break it.